Black, Blue, Blue and Green

You know.....it's not bad. He doesn't act like he even knows. Or is it just because he doesn't care? Clay asked me out for the second or third time today. I just don't feel like it. I don't have that click with him. Plus....though it is really stupid, I can't go out with someone knowing that I have other feelings for other people. It wouldn't be fair to me, not to mention to Clay. I couldn't go out with him, waste his time, and lead him on.....and then not feel guilty the entire time. I just couldn't bring myself to sink as low as dating someone.....just to get them to stop. I enjoy Clay's company and all.....I just don't know about dating him again. Not with other feelings. Maybe I am being absolutely STUPID about the whole thing. I mean, what if I am throwing away a chance for a relationship to come out of Clay and me......because of the fact that I'm waiting around for something (someone?) that will never happen. But how can I be sure? Simply because of the existance of his feelings for her. Of course.....if not her, probably someone else. It all just works out for the wrong for me. Listen to me........I sound like I have to find the person I want to marry this week. Well, no of course not marriage. I just want to get my priorities straight. Of course....the last time I checked fish didn't have TOO many things to get straight. But what do I know? I still have three months until I figure THAT one out.