Just Another Year Older
What....a....weekend.
Sarah and Adam are probably the best people I will ever meet. I just wanted to, again, thank you guys a million times over for the party. It was the best night ever, and I love you guys so much. I had a person tell me over the weekend that it was hard to find friends like that, and I see now just how true that is. I'm so lucky to have you guys....and I love you. Thanks again....I couldn't have had a better birthday with better people.
The feelings are there. All the things he was doing to her, I only wished he was doing to me, because of the feelings I wish he was feeling. When my family can see that he so obviously likes her, it's sad. When my sister can see that when the flirting starts, it's because he so badly wants to call her "his" it's sad. I can even see it. Quite clearly, I might add. Like for instance, when she jumps in his arms and informs him that he needs to catch her, you can see the light that appears in his eyes because he can hold her. When she runs and jumps onto his back, it's obvious. The obvious is sometimes the worst. In my case, this is obvious, and this is worse. I wish for things so badly, but for the record, this is the one. I treasure the time we spend together, and kick myself for taking the meaningless compliments to heart. I slam my head because of the times that I sit at home, wondering what it would be like if we were together. I pull my hair when I imagine us sharing a kiss. I was going to tell him. I had the nerve and everything. So, as I slid out of the car I was psyching myself up for the moment when I could ask him to tell me. "I want you to say the words 'I don't like you' and it will help." By hearing these words I can move on. (I tell myself that.) I want to accept the fact that there is no chance, and I should be already. Rejection is something I've been "experiencing" for quite awhile now from him, so I should be over it and him and everything else but I'm NOT! I hate myself so bad for it, you have no idea. But I just can't get over the fact that it won't happen. I can't accept it because I'm a STUPID and I can't do it! I beat myself up about it all the time. You're on my mind all the time, but when you are, so is she because you LOVE her! She's beautiful, you love her and I KNOW that. Just tell me. Tell me that I don't stand a chance, you don't like me, no way in hell will you ever. I want to back off. I want to leave you with her. I want you to be happy, and I realize that I'm not the one that can make that all real. So I'm sorry, and I apologize greatly. I've liked you, and I like you, but I need to take a hint. "Best friends" is a wonderful thing to be, and I'm sorry I ever thought of us as more. Or...WANTED us to be thought of as something more. Yeah, it's all clear and it has been. I just need to yank my head out of the clouds and slap myself once more, and realize that I'm not in your head like you are mine. *kick and hit and slap and punch* Brianne, you need to quit.
He's back to normal and I love it. I swear I hugged him 15 million times on Saturday night, and didn't want to let go, for fear of what could happen to him if I did. I can't let go without fear of that being the last time I talk to him. I can't watch him leave without thoughts of "What if....?" going through my head. I love having him back and I love hearing, "Hey Breezeface! Come here so I can pick on you." because that's what I've missed this whole time. He attached a butter knife to a torn off jean pocket and gave it to my brother, telling him he now had a "Pocket Knife." I mean, it's just the little jokes and witty comments that let us know that he is indeed back.....and I couldn't stand to see that taken away from all of us again. I found out the other night that when he was put into the helicopter to be taken to the hospital, the people said that he wouldn't make it to the hospital. I learned that the if the train would have hit him just a couple of inches closer to them....they wouldn't have made it. I mean, my uncle was a couple of INCHES from dying just a few months ago! Tell me that I can let that walk out the door without screaming "I LOVE YOU! BE CAREFUL!" after him. I can't......and I'm not about to start.
Sarah Green and Adam Williford,
You guys have no idea how much you did the other night. You are the best people that ever walked into my life, and I want you to know that I love you. There is no amount to describe how SORRY I am that I cancelled plans last night.....and I've been stuck on that since. It wasn't my fault....but I am SOO sorry. I want to make up for the retardedness that I have because I had y'all waiting all day to finalize all these plans that we supposed to happen. Again, I AM SO SORRY! You throw me a party and then I make plans that never happen. Sorry Sorry Sorry
I do want to thank you guys another time though. That truly was the best night ever. You guys made it happen, and this is why we are best friends.
Sorry and I love you
-Brianne-
P.S.
Sarah, sorry that I called crying and Adam, sorry that I hung up with you BECAUSE I was about to cry.
Don't waste your time looking over your shoulder
Those loves from the past ain't getting no closer
When I look in my future you're all I can see
Don't go loving on nobody but me.
Nobody but me gonna love you like you ought to be loved on
Nobody but me gonna cry if you up and leave
You can do what you want to, But I'm asking pretty please (Honey)
Don't go loving on nobody but me.
I took my time to tell you how I feel
Just because I took so long don't mean that it isn't real
I ain't got no diamond, but I'm down on my knees
Don't go loving on nobody but me.
Nobody but me gonna love you like you ought to be loved on
Nobody but me gonna cry if you up and leave
You can do what you want to, But I'm asking pretty please (Honey)
Don't go loving on nobody but me.
Nobody but me gonna love you like you ought to be loved on
Nobody but me gonna cry if you up and leave
You can do what you want to, But I'm asking pretty please (Honey)
Don't go loving on nobody but me. Don't go loving on nobody but me...
-Blake Shelton-
Sarah and Adam are probably the best people I will ever meet. I just wanted to, again, thank you guys a million times over for the party. It was the best night ever, and I love you guys so much. I had a person tell me over the weekend that it was hard to find friends like that, and I see now just how true that is. I'm so lucky to have you guys....and I love you. Thanks again....I couldn't have had a better birthday with better people.
The feelings are there. All the things he was doing to her, I only wished he was doing to me, because of the feelings I wish he was feeling. When my family can see that he so obviously likes her, it's sad. When my sister can see that when the flirting starts, it's because he so badly wants to call her "his" it's sad. I can even see it. Quite clearly, I might add. Like for instance, when she jumps in his arms and informs him that he needs to catch her, you can see the light that appears in his eyes because he can hold her. When she runs and jumps onto his back, it's obvious. The obvious is sometimes the worst. In my case, this is obvious, and this is worse. I wish for things so badly, but for the record, this is the one. I treasure the time we spend together, and kick myself for taking the meaningless compliments to heart. I slam my head because of the times that I sit at home, wondering what it would be like if we were together. I pull my hair when I imagine us sharing a kiss. I was going to tell him. I had the nerve and everything. So, as I slid out of the car I was psyching myself up for the moment when I could ask him to tell me. "I want you to say the words 'I don't like you' and it will help." By hearing these words I can move on. (I tell myself that.) I want to accept the fact that there is no chance, and I should be already. Rejection is something I've been "experiencing" for quite awhile now from him, so I should be over it and him and everything else but I'm NOT! I hate myself so bad for it, you have no idea. But I just can't get over the fact that it won't happen. I can't accept it because I'm a STUPID and I can't do it! I beat myself up about it all the time. You're on my mind all the time, but when you are, so is she because you LOVE her! She's beautiful, you love her and I KNOW that. Just tell me. Tell me that I don't stand a chance, you don't like me, no way in hell will you ever. I want to back off. I want to leave you with her. I want you to be happy, and I realize that I'm not the one that can make that all real. So I'm sorry, and I apologize greatly. I've liked you, and I like you, but I need to take a hint. "Best friends" is a wonderful thing to be, and I'm sorry I ever thought of us as more. Or...WANTED us to be thought of as something more. Yeah, it's all clear and it has been. I just need to yank my head out of the clouds and slap myself once more, and realize that I'm not in your head like you are mine. *kick and hit and slap and punch* Brianne, you need to quit.
He's back to normal and I love it. I swear I hugged him 15 million times on Saturday night, and didn't want to let go, for fear of what could happen to him if I did. I can't let go without fear of that being the last time I talk to him. I can't watch him leave without thoughts of "What if....?" going through my head. I love having him back and I love hearing, "Hey Breezeface! Come here so I can pick on you." because that's what I've missed this whole time. He attached a butter knife to a torn off jean pocket and gave it to my brother, telling him he now had a "Pocket Knife." I mean, it's just the little jokes and witty comments that let us know that he is indeed back.....and I couldn't stand to see that taken away from all of us again. I found out the other night that when he was put into the helicopter to be taken to the hospital, the people said that he wouldn't make it to the hospital. I learned that the if the train would have hit him just a couple of inches closer to them....they wouldn't have made it. I mean, my uncle was a couple of INCHES from dying just a few months ago! Tell me that I can let that walk out the door without screaming "I LOVE YOU! BE CAREFUL!" after him. I can't......and I'm not about to start.
Sarah Green and Adam Williford,
You guys have no idea how much you did the other night. You are the best people that ever walked into my life, and I want you to know that I love you. There is no amount to describe how SORRY I am that I cancelled plans last night.....and I've been stuck on that since. It wasn't my fault....but I am SOO sorry. I want to make up for the retardedness that I have because I had y'all waiting all day to finalize all these plans that we supposed to happen. Again, I AM SO SORRY! You throw me a party and then I make plans that never happen. Sorry Sorry Sorry
I do want to thank you guys another time though. That truly was the best night ever. You guys made it happen, and this is why we are best friends.
Sorry and I love you
-Brianne-
P.S.
Sarah, sorry that I called crying and Adam, sorry that I hung up with you BECAUSE I was about to cry.
Don't waste your time looking over your shoulder
Those loves from the past ain't getting no closer
When I look in my future you're all I can see
Don't go loving on nobody but me.
Nobody but me gonna love you like you ought to be loved on
Nobody but me gonna cry if you up and leave
You can do what you want to, But I'm asking pretty please (Honey)
Don't go loving on nobody but me.
I took my time to tell you how I feel
Just because I took so long don't mean that it isn't real
I ain't got no diamond, but I'm down on my knees
Don't go loving on nobody but me.
Nobody but me gonna love you like you ought to be loved on
Nobody but me gonna cry if you up and leave
You can do what you want to, But I'm asking pretty please (Honey)
Don't go loving on nobody but me.
Nobody but me gonna love you like you ought to be loved on
Nobody but me gonna cry if you up and leave
You can do what you want to, But I'm asking pretty please (Honey)
Don't go loving on nobody but me. Don't go loving on nobody but me...
-Blake Shelton-
posted by Breezeface at 9:08 AM
7 Comments:
i am never talking to you again! you know i would have been at your party with bells and whistles(literally)! i love you and i forgive you, because it was a surprise! hope your birthday was magical!--love- your fd buddy
FD Buddy
Well I wish someone would have told you about it because I would have loved to have you show up with bells and whistles. Those would have made my night. Roxanne came, and I think she should have informed you about it. I hope you talk to me again, because my life would be nothing without you. :) I love you C.D.
Your Favorite FD Buddy (unless of course you love Keith or someone more.) :)
nope..you are the one i want! have a great thanksgiving, and we need to go to a movie- your fd buddy
You know what? We do need to go to a movie. You should probably call me. And then we can go and have a super fantastic, awesome time or something. Happy Thanksgiving Dear, and don't forget that I love you to death.
-Well...you know.-
i was nervous to give my # over the internet, but its 4692338150. call me and we can go see rent or something- you know
Brianne, I kinda hope you didn't cry because that post wasn't about you. lol
Now I feel stupid for being like, "That post is so totally about me." I thought about you all freaking day and was like, "I hope Sarah isn't too mad at me, and I hope she still comes over on Sunday and I hope that she doesn't act all awkward because of the way she hates me." Yeah....now I feel stupid. And, even if that post wasn't about me, I really hope we didn't hurt your feelings. I know we just pissed you off.....but I wasn't trying to, and I'm sorry for that too. I love you Sarah.
Collin...I will definately call you. I just have to wait until after nine...unless of course you have Cingular. You're going to have to kind of tell me that. I of course love you Collin.
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