Tornado Face strikes again

I've realized how much I like spending time with him. I like his company, and I love the way we seem to get along. I'm not sure if he thinks so too or not, but I do. I think we have things in common and can laugh at the greatest things. But, none of that matters because I can't ever write about how much I love him and how much I love being "with" him. You know, maybe I should just shove this "fantasy" of mine into the dirt and just love being a best friend. I need to learn that it's never going to develop and grow into a relationship, so I should treasure the time I have with him, being a best friend. So, I guess that's the plan. Give up on all the "chances" of finding a great guy that will....be great. But hey, maybe one day I WILL find someone...and I WILL love him....and....he will love me? But obviously....that's not the guy I've "got my eye on" right now. Whether or not that's a good thing or not....who knows right now? I guess ALL I can do is wait it out and see. But...I despise waiting. That's all I seem to be doing these days....waiting. I wait for the right guy...I wait for this "wideness" to go away....I wait for my best friend in the world just to Talk, and I must say that's the hardest of all.

I read this, and realize that I write the same things over and over again. And these repetitious visual thoughts are just on-going complaining. That's all I seem to be doing these days. But, I have come to a conclusion about this problem of mine. If I don't write or blog or express my feelings any way again....people won't have to put up with it. So in a way....I guess keeping to yourself has it's "positive" outcomes.

Dear Ward,
I just wanted to let you know that I still think about you all the time. I've heard updates...heck I still crave them.....and I know you're progressing a few steps at a time, and I guess that's better then taking turns for the worst. So, I guess I just want to say that I'm thinking of you, and I'm still trying to help you out in any way I can....what with Landen and Alesha. I hear Rex is out, and I'm happy for his family. But, at the same time, I can't help but consider that unfair. Why can't you be out already? Why did you have to be thrown onto the tracks and end up with head injuries? WHY? I want you back, but I don't want to be selfish. Anyways, I'm glad Rex is ok, and I'm happy you're getting better. I love you. Don't give up.
Your Best Friend
-Tornado Face-

P.S. I had a dream about you. We were at Nana's house and you were there. You were no different than before, but we were all telling you how glad we were that you were back and alright. You were being your well-humored, sarcastic self and I wanted to cry because of the rush of happiness I felt because I had you back. WE....had you back. All I want is for that dream to turn reality. Get Well Soon.....I love you.

I take a breath and think about what I just wrote. Complaining is just something I do best.