Baylor Hospital, Room 428

I really do still want to be with him. He's on my mind a lot, and I hate to even begin to admit it. I am sorry I missed the party, but as I've written before, I think it would've made it that much harder. I mean, going and seeing him hanging around her, admiring her for all he's got, and me sitting there in envy......envy of what I wish I could have. I know it's not even good to be jealous of people, but all I ask is this one guy, and I can't even begin to get that request. I ask for a look, a hug, a relationship.......but he's got someone. Unfortunately, I can't say that person is me. But that's ok, because I tend to cover that up well. I mean, I'm not all over him constantly, telling him that I love him and I want to be with him. No. That wouldn't be the Brianne thing to do. Nope.....I just sit pathetically at the computer and type my feelings for him (because that's so much better). You know, I just ask for a guy that treats me right and wants to be with me. I realize now that that sort of thing is in high demand these days. It's almost impossible to get one. Especially when you aren't a beautiful person that just glows with confidence and makes the room go silent when they walk in. Yeah......what someone wouldn't give to be considered pretty.....

I got a lump in my throat the other day thinking about you. Stuff like this doesn't happen everyday, and it's still a shock that it happened to you. I want to cry when I even think of what you look like. I can't believe it. It's all just one big slap in the face. I want the old you back. I want to sit at the table in the motor home and laugh at Grins-a-lot, Freeze-Frame, Black-head, and all our other volleyball friends we enjoyed that day. I hate this. Why did this have to happen to you? WHY?! I miss you so much. Anyways, I just hope you get better. Really. The lump in my throat just got bigger, but I have to be strong for your son. Don't worry about him and Alesha. We're taking good care of them until you get better. I'll give everyone a hug for you. I just wanted to let you know that I will always love you, and I miss you like no other. Please get better soon.....the family is nothing without you. I love you so much.....
-Brianne-